WOW [28 Jun 2007|03:48pm] [ mood | excited ] You know its been a real long time since i have posted anything on here. but to catch you up to speed im currently in Baghdad, Iraq. Ive been here for a few months now and wont be going home till May 2008. I am not doing my job as an 11B and that really pisses me off. But recently i have been feeling a little wierd, not my usual self. I have talked to Alicia and she has made me think back on when we were togeather. God that was almost 2 years ago and still the time we spent togeather made me feel more special than i ever have in my life. When she stayed at my place it was almost like we were married, and that didnt bother me, but the fact that it didnt bother me, bothered me and i probably acted wrongly to her. So for what its worth, Im Sorry :(! Im not realy sure where im going with this but, its just wierd for me being a half a world away in the middle of combat and i cant stop thinking about her. Alicia was a great person and i feel i took advantage of that and i dont feel like i deserve her at all. And speaking of deserving, I dont know if i could commit to anyone if i was deserving enough to wear the Green Beret. It would be too hard knowing that i may leave a widow and possibly a fatherless child if something were to happen to me. It would be an insurmountable pain in my heart if i were to get shot and while im lying on my back in some back alley of some dirty town in the middle east thinking about how i will never get to teach my son or daughter how to drive or anything like that. Of course i dont have to worry about that right now because im still single/alone and have no kids. I hope you all are having fun back in the states, drink one for me. "Strength and Honor" Cullen B. Tierney 1 comment|post comment

[19 Aug 2006|03:33pm] Last night my message was retarded. That i know. but anyways i was watchin Gangs of New York yesterday and now im listening to Flogging Molly and its really showing me my Irish past, and how i now view life and values. We (My battalion)had a disscusion about values and morals as a soldier, and i now realize that the Irish were people and soldiers, weather in a traditional army or as indivudals, always fighting to survive. I finally realized that i dont care anymore and nothing i do will ever be right. Im just going to worry about me and get promoted and make rank, not even taking time to enjoy the flowers. It seems that ive been "suppressing my feelings with liquor and this (my hand)" more and more. But ive started traning for Ranger school so thats a deff plus. Everybodys in my room so ill continue this tommrow. CT post comment

Millus is a Fag!!!! [18 Aug 2006|05:26pm] [ mood | crappy ] Hey everybody my buddy Millus is fuckin with my computer so it may take me a while to write this. It was so wierd last night i had a dream that Ville Valo and Linde were giveing tatoos of "MARGERA" on my left bicept. It was wierd because after the "tatoo" process i was with a women who was a mix of Kelly, Jess, and Katie. Moresoe katie than anybody. Becaue anybody could have done this. but i write you because your still in my heart no matter what. CT post comment

Nothin... [02 Aug 2006|05:37pm] [ mood | blah ] Well nothing really has changed since the last entry ive compleatly stopped talkin to Katie because i figure thats the only way im ever going to get over her. Ive decided that i just need to move on and not try the whole celibice thing just get my dick wet and drive on. i cant wait for this weekend going out to silverados with millus, haley, ti, jones, and the rest of the staff and going to get fucked up!!! Then im going to the field on sunday till thursday. Im so excited to finally get back out in the field, its a real release for me i get to relax. Even if we dont really get to do any traning im still excited because i wont be stuck in the office all day. God my roommate is retarded!!!! Hes a god damn moron. I fuckin hate his guts im glad hes only around as much as he is if he was around any more then i probably would stab him in his kidneys. later, CT post comment

hey [30 Jul 2006|12:51pm] [ mood | happy ] Well last night was a great night for me, getting drunk with jones, millus, and haley was fun. now this morning im watching the family stone, and elizabethtown and drinkin beer makes me miss my family and eger to start my own. the family stone is a true family movie that all can relate to. it remindes me of my family so much its not even funny. with the way everyone acts its almost my family on dvd its great. but i do miss everyone and im kinda thinkin about skippin my september trip to terre haute and supprising my family in michigan. it would be so great to see them this remindes me alot of a year a go when i was living in the haute and i got really drunk on a sunday and couldnt stop crying because of how much i missed my family and how much i loved them, very much. I always liked this saying and it remindes me of home every time i see it; Looavul. Luhvul. Leuisville. Looaville. Looeyville. LOUISVILLE!!! i love that city and everyone in it i cant wait to see my sister and hopefully one day her child. i know he/she will be beautiful. well im rambelin on now but i will write soon. peace to all, CT post comment

[27 Jul 2006|04:59pm] [ mood | crappy ] Well it certanly has been a while and I had only 2 people look at my site but oh well, I really dont care its for me not them. Im now settled nicley out in Kansas, doin the same old shit every day. But I guess its not that bad I could still be living in Terre Haute (HAHAHA). But im trying to come visit everybody out in the Haute in late September. Im doing good I guess but its hard for me I miss one special person more than anything in the world. Especially since ive been talking to her more often. She is so beautiful, smart, cute, sexy, shes so fun to be around, her smile can light up the darkest cave, and my favorite thing about her, her eyes, she has amazing eyes!!! I have a picture of her eye, just one (its a real close up) but everytime I look at it I end up staring at it for like 20 or 30 min. I cant get anything done. But i guess me talking about it all the time wont do me any good because it dosent matter she wont get back with me im about 2,000 miles away and not getting any closer. I just want to let her know that I will always love her no matter what happens and if she comes to me in 20 years and wants to marry me I still would marry her. Peace out and love always, CT post comment

See you all later!!!! [28 Jan 2006|01:45pm] [ mood | ecstatic ] Well on 27 Jan 2006 i got the best news of my life so far. I had finally been accepted to join the U.S. ARMY. I leave on 09 Feb 2006 at 0600, and will be stationed for bootcamp at Ft. Benning in Georgia. But then something else happened that kinda sucked that night. I met a girl that I really like but I know it will never amount to anything because of the fact that I am leaving in about 2 weeks. But the overall feeling im having is pure extacy. I cant wait to ship out and get it started on my way to becoming a Ranger. And as for my comment about still loving a girl from a while ago in my previous post I now realize that that part is compleat crap. So I will see and talk to everyone when its time. Later on. CT post comment

Love, Truth or Mystery? [19 Jan 2006|05:06pm] [ mood | cold ] Today was another disappointing day in my life. Not only am i still up in Michigan all alone, but i still havent found out anything for the MEPS doctors in Lansing yet. But thats not why i write. I write to contest the thought that trule love is actually alive and well today in even one couple. Today i when and saw Tristin and Isold. The movie was a great see and i recomend it to anyone who like a romantic movie. Alot like Romeo and Juliet it is a pair of star-crossed lovers that were never ment to be. Which got me to thinking about life, my life to be more percise. Like this thought ive had for a while i think that each person has 3 true loves in their life besides family. The first is the childhood love, this tends to be the child that lives the closes to you of the opposite sex. I had one although i would never willingly admit it to anyone at the time. I still love her to this day and have a special place in my heart for her. The second is the "star-crossed lover" this tends to be the person in middle or high school that your parents just hated to see you with. For me this person was not hated by my parents and to my knowledge i was not hated by hers. but every time we seemed to finally get togeather something happened to what we had and we ended up breaking up. She is still a close friend and dear to my heart. Which now brings my to my third true love. Right now i find myself very confused because i want to move on, i want to have a final true love. but it seems to me that i cant have both of what i want. because there is someone that i love more than anything in this world but i also know that the ARMY is my mistriss and you cant have both. no matter what you do. i have tried to explain this to the person but to no avail. maby my life is supposed to end like that of Romeo's or Tristin's. maby im supposed to die cold alone in some shithole town in the back of some shithole bar cold, depressed and alon. maby one day i will write the love tragedy to define our lifetime, the one of my life. CT post comment

Fuck You [18 Jan 2006|03:00pm] [ mood | pissed off ] This message is to all my "friends" in Terre Haute who i thought i had. you all are nothing bunch of lying bastards. so next on my agenda its been a long while since i wrote in this thing. Ive been living in Michigan for a few months now and as of today im going to be living here for the next year because of complications with regulations with me signing my ARMY contract. But i have set in motion something in which i might be able to be in FT. Benning in as soon as a few weeks. i really dont know what im feeling anymore i haven had a single emotion except for being angry and pissed off with everyone who isint my family in so long that i think getting a job to kill wont bother me one bit. every day that goes by a little pice of me dies. i realize that what a good friend told me is true. that United States ARMY Rangers have the highest divorce rate of any single branch of the military. i think that i will end up in some shit-hole town alone drinkin beer in the back of a shit-hole tavern. with no friends and no family only to die alone and misrable. and each day that goes by i get a little more ok with that notion. doing 20 years in the service of active duity and if i dont die durring combat moving to some no name town to live the rest of my days out in mystery. talk to you later. CT 2 comments|post comment

Its over [28 Nov 2005|09:38pm] [ mood | okay ] Hello to all been a few days since the last entry. It was a wonderful turkey day for me as I hope it was for all you too, ate alot of food drank alot of beer and got to see my great family. But now on a sadder note me and Katie have officially broken up, were just friends now. And that really sucks no matter whos point of view you look at it from. I really did/do care for her no matter what the situation, is a great person who deserves everything in the world. Its hard just knowing that there is another guy out there who can love her more than i could even possibly imagine. But i wish her all the best in the world. And for those who know that i am joining the ARMY i am going to have a going away party on December 30th here at my house at 16th and Ohio in Terre Haute. All are welcome but if you start shit im going to take you down into the basement and beat the living shit out of you. Later, CT 1 comment|post comment

Ready [21 Nov 2005|07:45am] [ mood | mellow ] Hello to all even though as of this post I dont think that anyone has even gone to my LiveJournal link yet but who cares. As the time growes nearer for me to depart for my parents house in Michigan then later on to the ARMY Rangers. I feel that I will be leaving alot of friends, family, and loved ones. I just hope that I can make myself as well as all them pround of how I live my life. Try to be a good person in the way I lead my life and with who I will become. Last sunday I had a mental and emotional breakdown over losing my pawpaw, dean, memaw, and papaw. Im more scared that while im gone I will lose more of them, than I am about myself dying. Ive come to accept it as an inevatbility in all forms of life. If I do pass while on active duty in the line of fire than so be it, god felt it was my time no matter what. It has nothing to do with the fact that I was killed by a bullet in some war or if I was at home driving to get some Taco Bell. I would have been taken no mater what, weather it have been in Iraq or in a car. Its just something that I have come to realize and accept. But this weekend is Thanksgiving and im ready to eat some EFFIN TURKEY. Peace to all, and happy holidays. CT post comment

Welcome [11 Nov 2005|12:45am] [ mood | depressed ] Welcome one and all to read the first entry to my live journal. It took me a min. to figure this whole system out but i finally got it down. But now its time for some sereous thoughts. I think its hard for anyone to put down their feelings in plain black and white knowing that anyone can see what they truly feel, but here it goes. I just got back from seeing Jarhead. Now im not stupid i know that a jarhead it a Marine not a Ranger, and for thoes of you who dont know im joining the ARMY in January. Joining is a hard thing for me to cope with expecially after seeing that movie, it makes me realize all the things that I take for granted i.e. coke, beer, homecooked meals, a nice bead, a good place to have a little alone male bonding. But it also makes me think of all the people and privlages that i will be leaving behind, my parents, brother, sister, girlfriend, friends, fraternity brothers. Its almost so much that i wonder if im making the right choice, i have always thought about a life in the armed services, and i dont have a problem firing a gun at someone. Also in the movie it had a sceen where one of the Marines' wifes was cheeting on him and taped it and sent it to him, and in the movie Jake Gyllennaal's charcters girlfriend leaves him after only one year of being away. LIFE. Its hard to deal with. post comment

navigation [ viewing | most recent entries ]